Granny on Bribery, Insurance Companies, Daylight Savings and the Perfect Mate

Bribery can be a good thing. For one chocolate bar,clock, stove clock, microwave clock, grandfather clock,
my son or daughter will help me around the house. Myalarm clock, living room clock, VCR clock, clock in car
son is 33 and my daughter is 27. For one twelve packand wall clock in hall, I have spent four hours trying to
of pop, my son built an entire deck in my yard. For asave one hour of daylight. Ditto six months later.The
box of thin mints, my daughter helped me plant myPerfect Mate: Over the years I've learned that at age
flower garden. Am I one resourceful grandma ortwenty, a girl is looking for a guy who is tall, dark and
not?Granny on Insurance Companies. After payinghandsome. At age forty, she wants someone who is
premiums for many years, I turned in one small claim.gainfully employed. At age sixty, her only requirement
The claim I turned in happens to be the only thing thatis that he's breathing.Granny Marge is the author of
is not covered. Go figure. My premium went up!Grannytwo humor books and the library director in a small
on Daylight Savings: I don't like it. Old people don't liketown. She also has two childrens' books ready to
change so this irritates us twice a year. According topublish. She has a regular column in the local paper,
my survey, most people wish there was no timeThe West End News, called Excerpts from Granny's
change. Go back to the way it was and leave it alone.Journal.
By the time I change my wrist watch, the kitchen wall